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A Mechanic's Work |
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Jun 23, 2006 - 06:21 PM :: Admin :: 2003 Reads  A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one.
So how come you get the big money, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ..... He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running". |
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The Magic Golf Ball |
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Jun 21, 2006 - 11:17 AM :: Admin :: 844 Reads A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when a salesman runs up to him and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."
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Differences Between You and Your Boss |
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Jun 14, 2006 - 04:27 PM :: Admin :: 848 Reads When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
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A Cat's Sense |
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Jun 13, 2006 - 06:42 AM :: Admin :: 854 Reads A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that darn thing on the phone, I'm lost! and need directions!"
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Login |
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Quotes |
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"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."
-- George Burns
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Jokes |
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- The Local Game Warden
(Sep 18, 2006)
- The Americans and The Japanese
(Sep 18, 2006)
- The Train Signalman Application
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Wednesday Funnies
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Wednesday Funnies
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Why Did the Chicken cross the Road? -- Part 2
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Journalist Jokes
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Journalist Jokes
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Paper Shredder
(Sep 18, 2006)
- Strength against Age
(Sep 18, 2006)
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